If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
