The maid of honor just puked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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