Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
