This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
