He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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