My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
