when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
