The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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