If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
