foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
