Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
