I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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