So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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