im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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