Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
