We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
