it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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