SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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