The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
