Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
