Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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