Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
well you can't waste a boner
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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