when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
