Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
