THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
