your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
