Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
