The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
