Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
