Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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