I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
