Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
