i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
