But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize