That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
