she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
