Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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