apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
