the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
