if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
