worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
