Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize