I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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