I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
