its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
