This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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