I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
