you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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