dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
