The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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