My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I could have mohawked her pubes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
not ubering you a puppy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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