He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize