Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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