the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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