she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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