i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
