I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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