she was so not down for the gang bang
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
