First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
