I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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