She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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