yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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