I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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